Welcome to Narcissism 101

What is the internet, if not a narcissist's dream come true?
Tony Long WIRED magazine

This web site is very personal look at Narcissistic Personality Disorder or NPD and its consequences. It is NOT meant to replace professional help. I do NOT give advice nor consultations! Please Read the Disclaimer and Terms of Usage of this web site.

Go to Index or start here or read stories of narcissists

"We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things." Barack Obama

"You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you odd."

"Anybody who has survived his childhood has enough information about life to last him the rest of his days."

quotes from Flannery O'Connor

Ten years ago I stumbled across Narcissism Personality Disorder on the internet and it changed my life. Now a day doesn't go by that I find sites put up by victims or by health organizations on NPD. My goal in creating this site was to dispel the mystery of psychiatry so that victims can seek help. Narcissists will discourage you from looking into mental diseases because they are afraid you will find out about them. When you understand narcissists, it becomes easier to deal with them. They are the simply the most immature people on earth. They are pancake people, superficial, running around trying to puff themselves up, always looking for people to exploit and for people to admire them.

It is not easy dealing with narcissists. You have to be an adult when they are running around acting like kids - it demands wisdom and strength. Narcissists exploit weakness, or they create it in people. They are charming. They make you feel you are the greatest, they make you dependent on their approval. I have known good narcissist and toxic narcissists. Understanding them and yourself is the only way to survive. Don't criticize them (see why here). Remember that knowledge is not wisdom -wisdom is the ability to make the right choices.

Definitions

Narcissism, as in excessive or erotic interest in oneself and one's physical appearance. noun (See egotism) definition:

• Psychology; extreme selfishness, with a grandiose view of one's own talents and a craving for admiration, as characterizing a personality type.

• Psychoanalysis; self-centeredness arising from failure to distinguish the self from external objects, either in very young babies or as a feature of mental disorder.

Someone with Narcissistic Personality disorder (NPD) has at least 5 of these symptoms:

has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
requires excessive admiration
has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

Associated Features: Depressed Mood, Dramatic or Erratic or Antisocial Personality

Differential Diagnosis. Some disorders have similar or even the same symptoms: Histrionic Personality Disorder; Antisocial Personality Disorder; Borderline Personality Disorder; Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder; Schizotypal Personality Disorder; Paranoid Personality Disorder; Manic Episodes; Hypomanic Episodes; Personality Change Due to a General Medical Condition; Symptoms that may develop in association with chronic substance use.

Psychology Today: A Field Guide To Narcissism Link

Here are some more signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder to look out for:

Jealousy and possessiveness
Excessive need to feel special, adored, loved, appreciated, or admired
Rage attacks when you do not sufficiently meet his/her needs
Controlling behaviors (trying to control how you spend your time, who you talk to, how you dress, etc.)
Inflated self-esteem, or grandiosity (bragging, "fishing" for compliments)
Dramatic, insecure behaviors
Expecting you to take responsibility for making him/her feel better about him/herself
Blaming you for behaviors or feelings (i.e., "YOU made me do this," or "YOU made me feel this way.")
Not taking responsibility for angry behavior and justifying angry outbursts
An attitude that demonstrates "the world revolves around me" and "you need to cater to my ideas, opinions, thoughts, and feelings."
An unwillingness to reflect on his/her own behaviors

Quotes:

Fearful people are more dependent, more easily manipulated and controlled, more susceptible to deceptively simple, strong, tough measures and hard-line postures. ... They may accept and even welcome repression if it promises to relieve their insecurities.

George Gerber

Half the harm that is done in this world
Is due to people who want to feel important
They don't mean to do harm
But the harm does not interest them.
Or they do not see it, or they justify it
Because they are absorbed in the endless struggle
To think well of themselves.

T. S. Eliot

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