Letters to Sam Vaknin no 10
©Stephen McDonnell and Sam Vaknin 2004, 2005
All text is copyrighted and is published here with the permission of the authors.
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Thursday, February 17, 2005, Letter Ten to Sam Vaknin from Stephen McDonnellAfter you read Stephen's Letter - Click here to read Sam's Response
Dear Sam,
You asked me the following questions:
1.Are narcissists intrinsically evil?
2.Should mental health professionals involve moral judgment in their work?
An article I sent you on discussions at the most recent meeting of the American Psychiatry Association sparked these questions. Several news reports came out of this meeting, for a February 8, 2005 article devoted to Evil with links -go here:
The New York Times > Health > Mental Health
No doubt you have read what Dr. Peck wrote about malignant narcissists and evil.
Here is an interesting commentary on that:
In my mind's eye I envision a bunch of psychiatrists discussing evil, and trying to formulate a range of evil. It would go from micro to macro, and have degrees of harm I suppose. They also questioned their ability to make moral judgments on evil. Many of those present have treated some very sick people. It must be disturbing for them to see into the blackness of the human psyche and they probably want to know the how and why of evil. So do I. You want to know if a narcissist is fated to be evil as if a narcissist is the only one capable of evil.
Let us explore.
No doubt I could fill a volume on morals, morality, good and evil, selfishness and altruism, but to what end? A wise woman told me once that there is not right and wrong but only "right and real". Reality is where moral judgment and common sense meet. Does this mean the end justifies the means? Is there a range of good and evil? Is this a way of excusing ourselves and others? Is this a 'slippery slope' that we are told will lead to damnation? Do NPDs see issues in binary fashion, good and evil, right and wrong? Should we as 'normal humans' judge others who do not have the same set of mental filters that allow us to judge others (He who has not sinned should throw the first stone.)? We have different rules for children (in the legal system) as well as for animals, so why no give a little slack to NPDs and others who suffer from mental disease? He or she was mentally deranged when they committed the crime or crimes - so innocent by insanity? Where does one draw the line? What is evil? I have written extensively on my site about this, but why not address it again?(SEE Are NPD Evil? and NPD Rage and The Magus and Dictators and Religon)
Definition of evil:
Adjective
1. Profoundly immoral or wrong
2. Deliberately causing great harm, pain, or upset
3. Connected with the Devil or other powerful destructive forces
4. Characterized by, bringing, or signifying bad luck
5. Characterized by a desire to cause hurt or harm
6. Very unpleasant
Noun
1. The quality of being profoundly immoral or wrong
2. The force held to bring about harmful, painful, or unpleasant events
3. A situation or thing that is very unpleasant, harmful, or morally wrong
EncartaÆ World English Dictionary © 1999 Microsoft Corporation.
The quote I like to use concerning the harm of evil is the following:
Half the harm that is done in this world Is due to people who want to feel important.
They don't mean to do harm - but the harm does not interest them.
Or they do not see it, or they justify it Because they are absorbed in the endless struggle to think well of themselves.
T. S. Eliot
The human being is endowed with intelligence and arguably a moral compass that enables most people to tell right from wrong, and to have empathy for others. Even with this moral compass - the conscious - there is no guarantee that what we do will produce 'good' as fate likes to play tricks on people who are right and righteous. Let me illustrate my point by giving you some outrageous examples.
1. Water in Bangladesh is polluted. A UN program was developed and carried out to drill wells and install pumps to reach the water table and produce clean water. After much fanfare trumpeting the good work of the well water/pump program it was discovered that this water was contaminated with lethal amounts of lead. It is now recommended that the people boil their polluted water and not use the well water.
2. In High school one of my Jewish friends astounded me when he said that his Rabbi had declared to the congregation that Hitler had saved the Jews. He went on to explain that European Jewry was becoming assimilated before WWII and the Holocaust produced a renewed interest in the faith and a renewal.
3. US Millionaire Jim Rogers (co founder of the Quantum fund with George Soros, and whom Time magazine called "the Indiana Jones of finance") predicts that Asian women will be wielding incredible political and economic power in10 years from now due to the selection of male fetuses by echo imaging and aborting female fetuses. The disequilibrium in the sex ratios in Asian countries will eventually place surviving women into a position to choose. (National Post Business, February 2005)
Perhaps these are examples of survival of the fittest - the path to Hell is paved with good intentions - yet in each case there were decisions made wisely or with evil intent, which produced (or may produce) different results than expected. They are also examples of the impact of decisions on large populations. Today the Kyoto Protocol went into effect but the alleged largest contributor to global warming did not sign it so it may produce no or negative results. Or maybe not. Maybe it is too late to even stop the warming trend - some people do not believe in it anyway.
A few people who think they know what is best for others sometimes precipitate large-scale events. What if these people are psychopaths, or suffering from NPD, we then could attribute the eventual good or bad to them. But who decides what is good or bad - the winners? With historical distance, it is obvious that genocide was carried out in the Americas by colonial and postcolonial governments (and people) against the native populations. In modern day Africa the AIDS epidemic will surely wipe out a huge amount of the population. Wars and local terrorist attacks are taking place all over the world, perpetuated by people who believe they are right. Whole populations go on rampages of killing and torture, take the case of Rwanda, motivated by the feeling that they are justified.
Looking at history, one can say that evil is endemic to humankind, couldn't we? But is that true? Is there a way of measuring 'evil' in large populations?
In military science, the art of killing is difficult to teach. In fact most soldiers in the battlefield never shoot, and if they do, they miss their human targets. People have to be trained to kill. The occasional psychopath enjoys it, because he has no empathy for his victim. Most people have to be brain washed into hating. Most people have feelings and care for their fellow human being. Perhaps evil is innate to humans, but is not commonly manifest and it requires an outside agency to provoke it. Fear of danger, moral debauchery, drugs, mental disease You get the picture.
Macro to micro evil
Last week I was listening to a group of people who were discussing altruism and Jesus Christ. One person remarked that it would be hard to recognize God if He walked amongst us, whereby the narcissist in the group pointed to himself and declared, "Just look at me." It was a not surprising that he would say that, but the most unusual thing about the discussion group was the silence of the other narcissists. Morality, religion and good and evil make them uncomfortable. Unless they are the ones dictating it.
Years ago a TV evangelist was caught with his pants down visiting prostitutes; this same person had been railing against sin and sodomy, yet he felt he was above morality. In my email box I found a message from a preacher who had been referred to it, and he went on to say one had to obey the Bible etc. which led me to believe he was setting himself up as the ultimate arbitrator with God like powers. I wasn't surprised. A web site I found long time ago was dedicated to preachers who suffered from NPD and how to recognize them. After watching a TV documentary on the sexologist Dr.Kinsey I came to the conclusion that he was projecting onto the rest of the world his vision, and in some cases it was alleged that he doctored his research. He encouraged sexuality and freedom from sexual repression to the point where his assistants and wife were in an entangled relationship. Again, the rules were broken and then rewritten to fit another person's vision. What type of person likes to rewrite the rules? A narcissist?
Who comes up with rules of morality?
There are possibly three ways that we develop morality.
A) If one believes the Judeo Christian Bible, humanity (in the guise of Eve) ate from the tree of knowledge and learned how to tell right from wrong. This had been reserved for God and the Devil. It seems like a very paltry gift to eat an apple - feel shame at your nakedness - and only be able to know good and evil.
B) If we look at the parallel of Darwinian evolution, humans are naked and developed a sense of morality. Either way, we are moral beings. Animals have the instincts to survive. I doubt if animals have anything approaching our moral values, or even a need for them. Morality may even be counter-productive to the survival of humans.
C) Humans have morals when they exercise that part of the brain that deals with moral judgment. The famous case in Vermont of Phineas Gage whose temporal lobes were damaged in a freak accident and whose personality changed, may point us towards an anatomical basis for morality if not personality (lots of pages on the web devoted to this). The whole history of lobotomy and of ECT is morbidly interesting, with a new chapter being written using local electromagnetic impulses to bring about cures.
One wonderful image I hold on to that illustrates how humans differ from animals is the scene in the science fiction novel DUNE, where the Bene Gesserit (a kind of female Jesuit order) are testing the hero by having him put his hand into a box that causes him intolerable pain. If he can master the pain, something that animals are unable to do, then he will pass the test and be considered 'human', if he withdraws his hand he will be considered an animal and they will kill him. Frank Herbert had a Darwinian view of the future, where people would evolve and develop super powers, yet he endowed them with human faults; they were not perfect. They would have to use their moral judgment, and evil would still exist in narcissist like villains.
One of the sayings from DUNE that I recall when faced with an invasive and destructive narcissist is this: "Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past me I will turn to see fear's path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
The Bible also says, "I will fear no evil." Is this because evil exists? Or is it our view of the world/people as good and evil? Or should we rather say, I will fear no NPD?
Where do narcissists come into the picture of evil?
On your web pages devoted to Narcissistic Personality Disorders, you divide NPDs into cerebral and the somatic. Then you go on to subdivide them into thinner slices of types, but it is the same basic cake we are talking about. Or should I say apple?
In my dealings with NPDs I have seen many kinds, of different sexes, races and religions. They also vary in intelligence. They seem to all have a "native" cunning that enables them to find out who can be manipulated and used to supply them with admiration and amusement. They all project a superior air, as if they are not the normal run of the mill human being. Yet they will debase themselves if necessary and mix with common people, charming them with their wit. But only if they feel the necessity, and only if it is worth their time and effort. These are bottom line people. Zero sum economics - not altruism - reigns in the NPD mind. You lose, they win, end of game. To see narcissists in a moral light is specious. Their victims make excuses for them, trying to 'understand' using their own moral gauges. They respect brute force or people who turn the tables on them; because you enter into their moral-less domain of playing. By debasing yourself - by playing by their rules - they win.
There are exceptions to this rule. They can teach you some very valuable lessons. A narcissist woman taught me how to lie. She showed me that if you suspend your humanity, if you only care about the outcome and could care less about who gets hurt, then you are able to play a better hand of poker. In brinkmanship, when you are faced with a more powerful foe, lying is a powerful weapon. You lie by simply showing you are not afraid. You can hypnotize yourself into believing that you can do some impossible task, or change your life style. This is what NPDs do on a daily basis - self-hypnosis. They also take the terrible feelings they have for themselves and foist it on others. This shedding of emotional detritus is useful for normal people, if they can do it without involving others. The narcissist uses other people (victims) as garbage bins for their emotional offal.
For years I wondered about the antics and motivations of certain people. It was easy to dismiss them as simply characters, clowns, etc; the more powerful were not so easy to ignore. Once you are involved with them by choice or by birth, the web of their deceits is a reality, eventually you sympathize with them, their enemy is your enemy because the narcissist is always right and the other person, persons, or society in general, don't understand the narcissist. Once you join the NPD 'gang' you have to toe the line. What they say goes. It is the law. You may find yourself doing things you never thought possible, both legal and illegal, if you accept to ride in the roller coaster ride of their reality. (Manic Depressives also suffer this up and down type of life.)
You may think that you can put on the brakes and get off. But when you do, they, the narcissists, will hit you with guilt and their gang will reject you. So how did this happen? It may have started off with a simple handshake, and when you looked into their eyes they either looked very sincere or they avoided your look. They are wonderful at first, charming and amusing, and they compliment you, even make you feel important. The charm stage will last to you are hooked. If you are lucky they may pick you as their favorite; such attention is actually positive as long as it doesn't go to your head. In the movie "The Talented Mr. Ripley", a girlfriend says that you feel like you are in a spot light, basking in their love and attention powerful and addictive. When