Healthy Narcissism

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Narcissistic Personality Symptoms

grandiosity / exaggeration
fantastic thinking / romantic
believes special / unique
requires admiration
entitled / demanding
exploitive / manipulative
lacks empathy
envious / jealous
arrogant / haughty

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Being self confident doesn't mean self centered...

Liking oneself is a precondition for liking others. Yet to be in love with oneself is at best suspect, at worst a tragic fate condemning the afflicted to a life deprived of true intimacy. Narcissism is a universal psychological phenomenon, with healthy and unhealthy forms. Pathological forms of narcissism may be an attempt to find basic security in the face of environmental difficulty or trauma. Psychological treatment can help lessen the fundamental loneliness of the narcissistic sufferer.
Jeremy Holmes from Freud.org.uk

The difference between self-esteem and narcissistic ego distortion is difficult to see - sometimes. Normal self esteem is essential to our happiness and feeling normal. Most of us have felt a normal rush of pleasure at doing something well, of being complimented or just feeling good about oneself. Nothing is wrong with those feelings. On the contrary, it is part and parcel of a whole gamut of feelings that occur over the day, week, month and years. Feeling down is also normal, if caused by an event or hormonal change. Life is full of nuances of colors, emotions and feelings.

But what happens when one emotional state takes over? What happens when a sadness goes on and on, deepens, and takes hold? What happens if someone is obsessed with someone, with doing something, with always getting their way? What are we talking about? Is this a major or minor problem? Does the behavior cause harm to the person or to others? Is it within the boundaries of what is socially or culturally acceptable?

Normal behavior is a wide and varied state, not easy to define, with vague boundaries that some people push more than others. Sometimes we accept abnormal behaviors out of love, or necessity. If we were to look at every young generation, we would see things that are shocking - do we remember our own youthful indiscretions? Tolerance, guidance and time usually heals such crazy behavior. Freud theorized that the mind develops a superego made from all our experiences, laws and customs.