Dear Stephen, this is Great. Yours is one of the best narcissism Web sites I know. Like Ashmun, it is a gem of straight talk.
Thank you so very much 1000 times. I have finally figured out what is wrong with my mother. I have wondered for 27 years and have never had the answer. It has been so empowering to me to finally have a name. I cannot stop reading all the information on your site. I keep going through it and everything is matching up. I severed ties with her in December of 2006. I had enough of everything and constantly being screamed at and criticized and also given guilt trips.
I was molested by X starting at age 10 to 14 and I was blamed for that. I was interrogated by her for a few weeks every hour I was around her. She does that to people when they finally tell her stuff. She will interrogate them to see if their story changes. My mother has always controlled me with giving me gifts with limitations. For example when I was young " (name withheld), you can have a new outfit or go to your friends of you clean the entire house(which was 1900 sq ft. at age 6) or if I did not do it perfectly !
I've been reading the articles on your site and figured this would be a good place to start. I'm on my second go-around with this NPD issue and am looking for some answers.
I'm 35 yrs old with a wife and 4 kids and can feel things getting worse (man it's weird to finally put these feelings out there). I went through therapy in my early twenties for NPD after a little self-discovery and research as to what was wrong and how I got in this situation (Only child, spoiled, raised by over-religious, hypercritical grandparents, no father, emotionally-void mother, blah, blah). The therapy helped so much because it was in-patient group-therapy and when I got to see other people and there problems (severe OCD and the like) I began to feel like mine were in pretty small in comparison so 5 days into a 10 day stay I began to feel better and demanded to be let go (it was a voluntary program).
Well, fast-forward 15 years and 10 years into my marriage and I feel like I'm going down that slippery slope again. My wife and I have no intimacy (I never thought it was a big deal since I gave her 4 good children and a safe and secure home) and I feel like its all my fault. I really want to try to save my marriage before it gets beyond fixing but don't really know where to start. She doesn't understand all the psycho-babble (she has her own hang-ups). I love her and my kids very much and really don't want to see my life fall apart.
Well, there it is, my life story. It actually felt good to air all that dirty laundry. If you have any advice or suggestions I would appreciate it.